gettin real

First I should tell  you all one of my guilty pleasures is to watch reality (if you can even call them that) t.v. shows, and the other day I was watching Bethenny getting married. As I was watching it she was going on and on about how hard being a new mom is and how she just can't ever get anything done but the whole time she has a full time nurse/nanny there doing everything for the baby. Seriously, the nanny nurse does everything. Plus she has two full time assistance doing everything else for her. 

I sat there annoyed. Annoyed that this woman on t.v. is saying being a mom is hard work when she is drinking wine on the beach with her husband while her baby is being taking care of by the nanny. Or when she is making dinner completely uninterrupted because the nanny is feeding her baby in another room. The whole time  I am  watching her talk while trying to fold laundry and calm my baby. 

I then sat there and thought about it and realized that being a mom is like a completely new job, and granted this lady has no clue what being a mom is like she is still experiencing a new role in her life. The role of mommyhood. Each of us experience it differently and have our own challenges. 

I began to think about all the things I haven't given over to God about my new role. It made me sad to think about how I have neglected the one person who could make this transition easiest. The only person who understands the challenges I am experiencing. The person who gave me this blessing of a son. Everyday I say I will spend more time with the Lord and let Him fill me up for the day ahead and then I get lost in spit up, dirty diapers, giggles, and coos.

I need to be reminded that God will keep me safe. He will protect me from satan and He will calm my fears. I recently have been listening to JJ Heller and her song Your Hands has reminded me of how great God's love is. Here are the lyrics:

 

I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn’t there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That you would take my pain away
You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crooked lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking, heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave your hands

When you walked upon the earth
You healed the broken, lost and hurt
I know you hate to see me cry
One day you will set all things right
Yeah, one day you will set all things right

When my world is shaking, heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave your hands

Your hands that shaped the world
Are holding me
They hold me still